I remember one busy Monday afternoon, after a hard day of work I wanted to grab some food, I was ravenous, after all, I didn’t have time for breakfast. I remembered going past a new Italian restaurant which had opened up a few months ago, so I decided to head there. After ordering a Tagliatelle ai Funghi, I impatiently waited, fiddling my fingers. Yet when the food arrived it took me a good 10 minutes to actually begin to eat. Why? Well because I wanted to make a boomerang video of my food, and make an Instagram post so people could react and like it. Then I proceeded to put on self-timer to capture a photo of me and my Tagliatelle.
Social media users have a constant need for acceptance or validation, regardless of how trivial or insignificant your social media engagement may be. The statement applies to us all, even me. Whether you like it or not, this is the truth.
See society today has become so interconnected, and dependant on social media as a primary means of communication that something as mere as an unfollow on Instagram is like a slap in the face in real life to some people. The majority of us have always enjoyed it when our friends laugh at our joke or complement our outfit it in a strange way lets you know that they validate your decision. However, the problem began when social media got involved.
The UK alone is currently home to 24 million Instagram users according to research conducted by Avocado Social earlier this year, we are more connected yet disconnected than ever before. I have just over 5,000 followers on Instagram but do you really think I know at least 3/4 of those people? Nope. Yet when they comment under my picture or share some of my poetry it gives me a sense of approval. Social media users are constantly exposed to the judgment of thousands or even millions of people simultaneously, so of course, they want nothing more than to be accepted in the social media world. And half the time we do this subconsciously.
Each time you buy some new shoes or go out somewhere fancy you want to share that with your friends. But see social media has broadened that scope, you no longer only share those moments with your 5 or 6 friends, you want to share it with all your followers, and that is when the pressure gets applied. You begin to measure your worth based on the volume of likes you receive and you compare yourself to the billions of other social media users, which is quite frankly ridiculous. Yet we still do it.
A study by Harvard back in 2012 revealed that we as humans commit 40% of our time to self-disclosure and the pleasure we gain from sharing information with others, the level of pleasure can be compared to eating good food or having good sex. So it makes complete sense why we repeatedly indulge in this addiction. However, although getting tons of likes on your photos might feel good, it is minuscule compared to the feeling of rejection when you don’t get the likes you want.
The constant pressure to feel socially accepted not only takes a toll on our self-esteem but its effects extend as far as our own mental health. Once you have been sucked into the social media vacuum it is often hard to snap back to reality. Social media is hard to control, as it has become a feature of our everyday lives. Social media validation does not lead to real happiness, instead, you enter a completion with every other social media user in an attempt to prove that your life is worth the most likes.
The answer here isn’t to rid your life of social media, because that would just be stupid. Social media has an abundance of advantages, such as access to news in seconds, entertainment and easy communication. Nevertheless, we must learn to stop seeking online validation, start by filling your feeds with accounts and people that motivate you and make you feel good about yourself, rather than push you to alter yourself because you don’t fit the social ‘norm’. Secondly, just take a break, unplug yourself from the online world even if it is just for a day.
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